Tonight as I was watching the hockey game with Dad, I noticed that an abnormally large group of hockey players have beards. Why do they have beards? I am really not sure. Maybe it is to keep their faces warm out on the ice. Maybe they just like the way it looks. Maybe it is a homage to all the great bearded hockey players before them. Then I figured it out.
The beards work as a cushion! You see when hockey players get slammed into the wall with great force, their poor little heads get knocked around inside of those big helmets. So to solve this problem they started growing beards. The beards act as shock absorbers and cushion the blow.
I even have proof. One of the men got shoved against the wall and it was reported that he had broken his nose. When they showed a clip of him on the bench you could clearly see that he had no beard! See that proves it