Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Are you ready for a horror story? Good, grab a pillow and gather round for the horrifying tale of the RETAIL MONSTER!

OK so today I went into work at Old Navy prepared for just another boring day in retail land. The check out line was pretty long so my manager Mary asked me to jump on register 6. No problem right? *Que the creepy music* Up to the counter walks this average looking woman with several kids running around bouncing those stupid bouncy balls all over the place (I hate those stupid bouncy balls!) She said she had two returns to do. OK no problem. I did the first return without any difficulties but when it came to the second return it was past the 90 days in our return policy so we couldn't return it.

All of the sudden this sweet little house wife standing in front of me turned into a hideous RETAIL MONSTER, and tried to rip my head off with her cranky tone. "Well I have my receipt and I never even wore this! What am I supposed to do with it now?" I tired to explain to her the return policy but she used one of her dreaded tentacles to say the evil words "I want to talk to your MANAGER!" So I brought my manager over. The creature then began to attack telling her if she didn't do something to change this she would take her business else where. So my manager told me to go ahead and just return it (even though it is against our policy) So I did but when I told the creature that she would only be able to get her money back as a store credit through the mail she once again went through a transformation. A transformation into the poor Innocent
The lady just stood there few a minutes then started crying. She said that she couldn't believe our policy, that she really loved our store but she was going to have to boycott us after this outrage. She said that she wanted our corporate number to call and complain because maybe if enough people did they could make a difference. I looked at the woman sobbing in front of me and rolled my eyes on the inside. Man, that lady needed a cause! But on the outside I continued to apologize.
She had some other purchases and I asked her if she would like me to ring them up for her. She said no because she didn't want to support our store any longer and that having clothes from Old Navy after this would make her feel "dirty" But she decided to get them. She threw the clothes at me and then threw the money at me. Before she left she turned to the lady behind her and "warned" her about how evil we were and how she should be "very careful because Old Navy is just like every one else now, trying to trick you!"
Needless to say that the attack from this creature left me with my hands shaking. This is my most dramatic experience with a psycho transforming customer but unfortunately not my first. You would be surprised by how many RETAIL MONSTERS disguised as ordinary citizens are out there. I think my manager put it best when she said later "You don't have to be mentally stable to go shopping... Or bear children"


3 comments:

pattis1234 said...

Jess,

If I was there, I would just hold you, pat your back and say, "Poor little bunny" (with a British accent). I have been attacked by countless RETAIL MONSTERS but thankfully, like you, lived to tell about it. At the end of my retail career, I tended to get a little, shall I say, condescending with these people (not Christ-like at all). Hopefully, you will keep your sweet, loving attitude throughout your ordeals:-) BEWARE RETAIL MONSTERS!

Mrs. Salvador

Tory said...

That would make a wonderful Doctor Who episode, don't you think? Some innocent looking shopper grows tentacles, imprisons the employees and turns Old Navy(wait, do they have those in England? Perhaps a different store) into her lair.

DUN DUN DUUUUN!

Bodecia Arietty said...

LOL!