Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Confidential... Read at your own risk!

I am about to reveal some top secret information about a conspiracy to overthrow our government and take complete domination of the world. But before I do I just wanted to warn you that this information is disturbing, and will change the world and your perspective of sea mammals forever. Read at your own risk...

Who is behind this evil plan you might be wondering. It would have to be someone deeply disturbed and yet seemingly innocent. Someone you would never expect in a million years. Oh the sick creatures are all that and more! Gaze upon the face of EVIL!!!!!!!

Yes, I am talking about Dolphins (this is where I lost the NSA). Seriously though, think about it. According to wikkipedia.com Dolphins are second in intelligence only to humans. Now do you honestly believe that a creature capable of that kind of intelligence would be satisfied simply jumping through hoops at sea world for fish? I DON'T THINK SO!

Dolphins are evil I tell you! But I am not the only one who thinks so. Here is a portion of a very informative article by the ultimate guide to dolphins. It explains some of the dolphins, shall I say, devious behavior.

"So what have researchers learned about dolphin intelligence?
Dolphin researcher Pieter Arend Folkens tells this story: "Since trash can be dangerous to dolphins if ingested, some of the animals at Marine World Africa USA were trained to retrieve the trash and return it to the trainer for a reinforcement reward.
"A trainer would come out onto the floating stage and a dolphin would perform a tail stand with a piece of trash in its mouth. The trainer would then reward the dolphin with a bit of fish.
"One day the lead trainer went through the routine only to notice that the dolphin kept coming back with a piece of trash even though the tank appeared clean. The trainer asked a colleague to go below to the engineer's port to observe what the dolphin was doing when a trainer came out on the float. The trainer came out on the float and sure enough, the dolphin quickly showed up with a piece of trash and got his reward.
"The scam was revealed! This dolphin had established a savings account of sorts. He collected all the trash and stuffed it in a bag wedged in a corner of the tank near the intake of the filtering system. In there was paper, rope, and all sorts of trash. The amazing thing is that when he went to the bank he did not simply take a piece, rather he would tear a bit off to maximize the return.
"This behavior is particularly interesting because it shows that the dolphin had a sense of the future and delayed gratification. He had enough presence to realize that a big piece of trash got the same reward as a small piece, so why not deliver only small pieces to keep the extra food coming? He in effect had trained the humans."

If they can save up trash each day waiting for a reward, how much more likely are they to save up intelligence waiting for WORLD DOMINATION!

Now certain individuals have brought up the fact that it would be impossible for Dolphins to take complete control over the world seeing as they are limited to staying in bodies of water. I have two words for these individuals... GLOBAL WARMING! I don't know how they are doing it, but the are melting the polar ice caps so that they can flood the world. With this accomplished they will be able to go anywhere they want.

If you are still not convinced this clip from a national geographic special should do the trick. "The True Nature of Dolphins"

I hope you found this post informative and I also hope that it will help you to take more care when it comes to... DOLPHINS!

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