So I had been delaying adding another blogpost because I was at a loss for words. The words I lost were about Colorado. How do you sum up one of the most poignant times in your life? How do you write a blogpost about discovering that you are an adult? How do you tie up the ends on an amazing year long adventure? How do you say goodbye.....
This weekend I flew out to Colorado for a visit. It was wonderful. Exactly like old times and exactly what I needed. In the words of Louise it felt like I had lived with them for two months and been gone for a year instead of the other way around.
I figured something out this weekend that is really important, I don't need to close the chapter on my life in Colorado because it isn't over. I love my babies and my babies love me. I have a big sister and a big brother who I love and who love me for exactly who I am, are always challenging me to try new things, and are always right there to help me. That doesn't change because I live far away instead of right down the stairs. We are a family.
I remember when I first moved in with Louise and she would tell me stories about when she used to live in Japan. Her house is filled with beautiful pieces of art that chronicle her life there. Japan was rich with memories for Louise and I didn't understand how a place that she had lived in for such a short time could hold so much meaning for her years later. How a short time could have shaped and changed her so much. Now I do. Colorado is my Japan.
Sometimes it is hard having two homes. The minute I am in one I am homesick for the other. I miss my parents and sisters, or I miss Ryan, Louise and my babies. It isn't fair, sometimes it makes me want to cry. But then I step back in amazement of my wonderful God who has blessed me with such an incredible experience and so many people that love me and I do cry. This world is full of change and goodbyes and heartbreak but God never leaves us nor forsakes us.
Someone asked me once if I regretted choosing to stay longer in Colorado. I can honestly say do not regret a single moment of my time there nor a single minute of my homesickness now. Things change.... but somethings don't..... sometimes there is no need to say goodbye.